anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

We're in quite a jumble again aren't we? When did we decide that this was fun? Oh yes, I believe it was kindergarten. You know, for someone who is terrified of eternity and terrified of screwing that kind of decision up, you sure hold onto things hard. 

What happened? We were just going along, happy to be single, happy to alone really (in a non-bitter, non-I actually really need a boy right now but I'm pretending badly that I don't kind of way). 
Then BAM. Jumble. 

I kind of thought we'd never do this again. Well... partial lie. But I kind of believed it coming from myself. 

Yet here we are. Totally confused about what we want and what we don't want and trying to decide that we don't want what we might want because if we want it and we don't get it then we might be more than jumbled we might be shattered. 

Shattered is bad. I do recall that. 

Yet, let's be honest, it's a little fun. The not knowing, the anticipation. The utter and complete confusion about our entire lives. 

And so, dear heart, please figure this out. Or don't. Because since when did I really know what I wanted and what was actually good for me anyway?

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