anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Monday, November 17, 2014

How Choice Makes Love Mean Something

I was thinking about this yesterday. Ironically, I also really wanted to punch certain boys in the face yesterday. (As a side note, thank you to everyone who also wanted to punch them in the face and supported my doing so, should I ever decide to do that.) Anyway, this was very nearly going to be a rant post about how much I think boys are complete and total idiots right now. Well, one boy, but that's beside the point. 

Instead, I'm going to talk about how great love is.

(Credit for the photo: Charissa, it's the local lock bridge. Someday I may cheesily put my own lock there)

So I was talking with my mom yesterday about how a lot of people my age are either not getting married, or are getting divorced, and I think that part of it is because they don't realize that love is a choice. They think that falling in love is something that happens to you, instead of something you choose. Like being the victim of a massive practical joke if you fall in love and then someone falls out.

I don't believe in "falling" in love. You make a choice, maybe not consciously, but it's made, and you can unmake it and you can make it again. 

Think about it, if love were not a choice, then it would be worthless. As worthwhile as finding a penny. But the fact that it is a choice means so much. It means that when someone promises you that they will always love you, it is a choice that they can make or break (otherwise, why would you want them to promise anyway? They wouldn't have any control over it). It means that it wasn't luck. It wasn't fate. It was a choice. Someone chose you. They didn't have to. They didn't have to keep choosing you. But if they do, that means that endlessly you meant something. It meant something. A small infinity of choices choosing you (to paraphrase the fault in our stars). 

And isn't that so much more special than being someone's lucky penny? Someone's destiny?

For me it means that there is always hope. There is always more choices to be made. It means that if someday my marriage is on the rocks (assuming I get married someday), we can choose to fall back in love. It means that even if someone doesn't choose me today, it doesn't mean that someone can't choose me tomorrow. And because I know that love is a choice, I know that I get to pick who I end up with, and they get to pick me, and that is beautiful.

Ok, I'm done soap boxing. Happy Monday! And if you have any thoughts about love, leave them in the comments :)

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