anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


So after EFY was over I went back to my regular life, but with a whole bunch more friends. And, because this was in MSN's heyday (for those of you too young to know about MSN, it was instant messaging before Facebook and texting, well after texting, but before I had it), I was on MSN pretty much every day after school for a lot of hours. I talked to a lot of different people from EFY, but the Captain was one that I talked to a lot. 

I don't remember why I started calling him The Captain, but we emailed and messaged a lot and I did. He called me Commodore, which may not have seemed like a significant thing to him. It was significant for me. I had always wanted a nick name and I didn't really have any. I hated Rach and Rachy (never fear those of you who call me these things, the loathing has gone down), and had christened myself Rae in the 9th grade. Rae was the only nick name that anyone ever called me.

I remember thinking that I was amazed at how much he was willing to tell me back then. He would say things and then say how he didn't usually talk to people about those things. 

We had an EFY reunion and I remember thinking that he was one of the happiest people I had ever met. We watched a movie (I don't even remember which one it was, something Disney) and whenever he laughed the whole group would laugh because it was infectious. 

And then, a few months after we met one of my friends (who would later be my roommate in college) had a sister commit suicide. It was on or around November 7th that I came home from school, having learned this, and I got straight on my computer and waited until the Captain was on MSN. I immediately made him promise that he would never commit suicide. My friend's sister reminded me of the Captain and it struck me to my core that he might do the same thing.

But I still didn't want to be anything more than friends. 

These were pictures I took specifically for MSN so that I could show the difference between me with glasses and without.

More Love Story:
Part 1
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