anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Friday, December 29, 2017

One Month Away

Today marks 1 month until my due date. It seems like it was years ago that I took that pregnancy test that came back positive. Certainly, this baby could never have been the size of a poppy seed.

Yet she was, and here we are, facing down a very real countdown. It's strange to think that I'm going to be a mother, that my life is going to change so completely, yet so it hers. We're going to share our firsts together and I'm beyond grateful to have Brian with me to help figure out parenthood together.

It's coming closer and closer, yet I don't think I'll really feel it until she's on my chest for the first time.

After I got engaged, I remember thinking that maybe the purpose of the engagement ring was to tie the experience back to reality. It seemed so far from being realistic that the only way I could convince myself that it really happened was to look at the ring on my finger. 

With pregnancy, you'd think that my growing belly and the little dresses and shoes would be enough to convince me it was really happening, but throughout pregnancy, the threat of miscarriage has hung over the reality of those other things.

Just this morning I was worrying that I hadn't felt her move in a bit. She hadn't seemed as active yesterday and every moment she didn't kick took me deeper into panic. I wondered if I should call the hospital and I prayed hard for peace and reassurance that Everly was ok. She still didn't kick, maybe a few flutters. It wasn't until maybe twenty minutes later she started moving around a lot and I felt ok again. Feeling her roll around and push out isn't always comfortable, but I say a lot of prayers of gratitude for that feeling. 

I'm so excited to meet her and see the intricacies of how Brian's features and mine play out in this little life. All babies must be miracles, it seems that each one faces incredible odds to even make it to birth.

Part of me is excited for labor and part terrified. I'm so glad that I won't have to do it alone. 

I love this little one. It has been a privilege to carry her, even if it had been harder physically than it has been. Counting down the days...
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Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Monthly Moments | December 2017

It's the end of the year. This whole month I've been thinking about the coming year and planning who I want to be. Really it's been a contemplative and dreaming kind of month. I'm not sure if I'm "nesting" or not, but I've probably planned and replanned how to organize and rearrange our apartment about a hundred times. 

-My bump finally popped out! I'm pretty sure that I haven't gotten much bigger since this photo, even though it was taken 3 weeks ago.

-I finally read Jane Eyre. People have been recommending this book to me for years, but when my visiting teacher recommended it to me, I finally took the plunge (and loved it).

-I could have taken a million pictures of the fog frosted plants and trees. If I hadn't had to get to work on time, I probably would have taken more.

-I started hand lettering at church on Sundays and I love it! It keeps me engaged and helps me feel like I'm working on my talents.

-White hot chocolate has been my favorite drink lately, especially in this little Mickey Mouse teacup. It's just the right amount without being too much sweetness at once.

-This somewhat blurry picture of Brian and I came from when we were building our candy house. I'm so excited to make memories like this with our babies in the years to come.

-Our tiny Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve right before we went to sleep. We slept with it on all night, which probably made me sleep worse, but hey, I never sleep well on Christmas Eve. There's something magical about sleeping under the lights of the tree.

-Yesterday we went Ice skating. I'm usually pretty good at ice skating, or at least I can go smoothly and I don't fall down. Not yesterday though. Yesterday I only avoided falling down most of the time I was on the ice. I had a REALLY close call once, but Brian saved me. Turns out your center of gravity is totally different when you're pregnant.

So much life has happened this last month. Since the last Monthly Moments, Brian and I went to the hospital once to have the baby checked, and went to all of our birthing classes. We just did the third-trimester birthing class, and while terrifying at times, I'm glad that we went. Although, I'm pretty sure I could have lived my whole life and never seen a pair of forceps and been a happy girl. 

We're getting so excited for our little one to come. As much as we love being just the two of us, the anticipation keeps building, especially as our friends around us who are pregnant keep having their babies. Especially as the baby is getting bigger and pushing on my ribs all the time, I'm getting ready to just hold her and love her and be completely exhausted. 

Goals/To-Dos for January: 

-Finish up getting essentials for Everly
-Organize everything so that we can find it when we need it for the baby
-Pack hospital bags
-Exercise 3 times a week (even if it's just walking) until the baby is born
-Read the Sleep training book before Everly is born
-Finish sending out Thank You notes
-Spend as much time with Brian as possible
-Try some new recipes
-Journal 3 times a week
-Clean the apartment

Currently Read:

The Chemist By Stephenie Meyer
Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte

Something to Take Away:

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
-Martin Luther King

Its been a really good month and I'm looking forward to starting the New Year! 

Thanks for reading! I have good plans for this blog in the coming year, hopefully having a baby doesn't throw them completely off (although I expect that could happen!). What are you looking forward to most in the New Year?

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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Who do you want to be at the end?

I approached goal making a little differently this year. If you couldn't tell from the rest of this blog, I am a huge believer in making goals. Sometimes I feel like people must think I'm a lot cooler than I actually am because if I actually achieved all of those goals, I would be pretty awesome. The truth is that most of my goals go unmet. In fact, I'd say I probably reach 50% of my goals. So this year as I was thinking about what I should do for making goals for the New Year, I almost decided not to make any. I know that we'll have a new baby pretty close to the beginning of the year and I have no idea how I'll adjust to motherhood. As much as I'd like to say that I'll slide into Motherhood like it was made for me, I really just have no clue. I have no idea how I will recover. I have no idea what kind of baby she'll be (other than mine and so loved). I have big dreams, but I recognize that babies make a whole new life for you. 

So as I was thinking about all this, I was all set to give myself a free pass for the year of 2018. No goals. Just focus on being a good mom. However, I kept coming back to one question that I couldn't let go of, "Who do I want to be at the end of 2018?" 

Just that one question was enough to reframe my whole idea of the goals I wanted to make for the year. I may not know how I will adjust to motherhood and I have no idea what kind of curve balls that 2018 is going to throw at me, but I do know who I want to be at the end of it. 

So I sat down with a sheet of paper and wrote down all the categories I wanted to focus on and centered them around who I want to be at the end. I wrote down who I want to be. Then, instead of just making a bunch of random goals, I made a set of goals that will hopefully lead me to become that person. The goals themselves don't matter so much as what I hope that they will help me to accomplish. 

Hopefully, at the end of 2018, I can sit down and look at the goals I made and recognize the growth that I've made rather than how many goals I accomplished or resolutions I "kept". 

What are your goals for 2018? Who do you want to be at the end of 2018?

Click here to print your own watercolor goal sheet!
-Blank (watercolor only)
-With Categories included (same as mine above)

I recommend writing your goals above the categories on the sheets since there might not be room at the bottom :) 
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Friday, December 1, 2017

Where Are You Christmas?

I don't know about you guys, but sometimes I have a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. As much as I love the Christmas season it doesn't always hit me the way I would want it to. Last year was especially hard for me. I was away from home and the little bit of tradition that I'd managed to hold onto with my family over the years were gone. It was incredibly depressing for me to be trying so hard to get into the Christmas Season, but have it be out of reach.

This year I have a little more control over my Christmas season. I won't lie, I'm looking forward to having a little one next year because I can't wait to show her the Christmas magic. However, until then, it's something that I'm going to have to create on my own. I figured I'm not the only one, so I've compiled this list of things to help you get into the Christmas Season and spirit!

Advents and Countdowns:

-The 25 Days of Christ
This goes through Bible and Book of Mormon verses about Christ.

-Light the World Initiative
If you've heard or seen #LightTheWorld then this is the same thing! It's about sharing and spreading light this season. They have something different for every day.

-Come Unto Christ An Advent Study
I found this through @courtneycasperletters on Instagram. Her study does cost $15, but what a great way to get into the season!

-12 Dates of Christmas
I heard about this last year on Instagram (go ahead and guess what my favorite social platform is ;) ). The idea is to go on 12 dates leading up to Christmas. Last year was way too busy for me to even contemplate this, but I think it would be a really fun idea.

Christmas Books to read:

-The Christmas Box By Richard Paul Evans
-A Familiar Ring By R.K. Terry
-A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens
-The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
-I Believe in Santa Claus By Diane G. Adamson
-How the Grinch Stole Christmas By Dr. Seuss
-The Forgotten Carols By Michael Mclean

Christmas Movies to watch:

The Santa Clause
Polar Express
A Charlie Brown Christmas
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Muppet Christmas Carol
The Year Without a Santa Claus
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Frosty the Snowman

I just love the Christmas Season. I love how it makes us look outside of ourselves and see how we can help others. It comes at the perfect time of year when one year is closing and a new year is beginning. It seems to put us at our best and then challenge us to become even better. That's why I love the Christmas season, it's that special feeling of love that doesn't seem to exist the rest of the year. It's also why I don't love Christmas day because I end up worrying too much about me on Christmas, whether I got what I wanted or not. I hope someday to extend that beautiful feeling through Christmas day and then maybe the whole year.

What do you do to get into the Christmas spirit? What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions? (I may or may not be looking at new ones to start with Brian for Everly and whatever other children we have). 

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