anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Monday, March 5, 2018

One Month Update

I can hardly believe that it has been a whole month since Everly was born. In some ways, it feels like it just happened and in other ways, it feels as though we've always been doing this. 

I'll admit that I was a little scared of the Post Partum stage of life. I was warned that I would be exhausted and that I would be overwhelmed. Not to mention that I'd be learning how to take care of a newborn and adjusting to a completely new life while recovering from birth and labor.

I was pleasantly surprised that they were all wrong. I will say that it is in no small part due to all the help and support that I've been given through these last 4 weeks.

I have been so lucky to have the support of friends and family. Most especially my husband and my mom. We've only had to cook twice in the last month because of all the people who have brought us meals.

Brian has been an angel. I'd highly suggest everyone marry a man like him :) He has willingly let me get to bed at 8 or 9 every night and then takes the next feeding so that I can get a good 4-5 hour stretch of sleep. In fact, Everly likes to sleep that long, most of the time he doesn't have to take the next feeding at all because she's sleeping. I'd let her keep sleeping if I weren't worried about her gaining enough weight (she only gained half an ounce at her 2-week checkup).

Not only does Brian let me sleep but he makes sure that I get a shower every other day and watches her exclusively one night a week so that I can take care of me. He'll even get up in the middle of the night to change her diaper for me.

My mom was there every day with us in the hospital and came to my home every day for weeks to make sure that I was ok and recovering. I have no doubt that I might still be using a walker at the least, but quite possibly be unable to walk at all without her help. 

After I came home, I needed my mom more than I thought I would. Emotionally I needed her, probably more than I needed her physically. All those hormones running around left me feeling like normal things took twice as much emotional energy as they normally would have. I cried at least once a day, and I quickly learned that there are songs you should not listen to as a new parent. So far the list includes "Let them be little" by Lonestar and "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. 

Luckily, because I had all this support I never got to the point where I felt overwhelmed. I never got to the point where I felt exhausted. It has helped me to enjoy this time with Everly, to love her and notice the sweet little things about her, instead of resenting the way that things have changed. It has made me enjoy motherhood. It hasn't been easy, but I have loved it so far. Because all these people have given to me, it has filled me with enough to give back. It has made me want to give more to others and to be kinder. I already feel like I've changed so much, for the better. Motherhood has made me more the person that I have always wanted to be, closer to "Ideal" Rachael than I have ever been. 

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