anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Poems of Motherhood | February Edition

Since I've known what poetry is, I've always been writing it. I don't claim that it has ever been any good, but it's something that I've needed to do. I remember being in college and getting close to some girls in my poetry class that we had in the spring. I went home for the summer and ran into them in the fall and asked about their poetry. They hadn't written any since that class had ended, even though (in my opinion) they wrote much better poetry than me. I couldn't imagine going months not writing. It's something that I almost have to do, but also something that I enjoy. 

Through the years I have written all kinds of poetry, mostly sad/angsty poetry about boys and breakups, but I have loved writing about Everly and Motherhood, so I'm planning to share these kinds of poems once a month or so!


I want to remember
the swirl of your hair at the crown of your head
the split where a cowlick will grow
at the top of your forehead
just like mine

the way your hair turns golden in sunlight
your fighting arms
sweeping and scooping in

fingers opening and closing
like prayer
or tucking your thumbs in fists

I want to remember
how tiny you are
the little "O" you make with those perfect bow lips
like you're taking the world in sips


Today you fell asleep cuddled up against my chest
as if my heartbeat was the only lullaby you needed
I let you sleep there
kissed the soft spot on your head
letting you know that you're safe with me
as close as you can be on this side of my skin


You always flash smiles as you're falling asleep
slipping into dreams

but, today you smiled a real smile
looking at me 
while I reminded myself that these days are

you'll only be this tiny once

I'd rather spend these days looking at you
drinking you in
than looking at the glass screen in my hands

Today I held you
I watch the sunlight turn your hair gold and red
And your eyelashes lay delicately against your cheek
I thought about the day we brought you home
The music playing in the car
Your dad and I crying because you were finally ours
I thought of the stories I would tell you
The ones I would write for you
These moments are my new adventure
A story I didn’t think the ink would actually become a reality
But here we are
Me holding you
Because I was afraid
Your skin seemed too cool
I couldn’t see your heartbeat
So I had to pick you up
To hold you
So I could remember that this is real


I painted a moon for you
Edged in flowers, a Poppy 
For my Poppy girl 
We wrapped you up in swans
A reminder that something beautiful can grow out of something ugly
Then I carried the little bundle of you 
From bassinet to bed
To my arms. 
I watched you sleep
Wondered if you were dreaming of flowers
Or moons
Of things you have never seen. 
I have never seen something like you
You are details sealed together 
as unique as a Super Blue Blood moon
As snowflakes and lip prints

You were a puzzle piece that fit inside me
For nine months
Changing and carving out a place in my heart
No matter how you grow and change
You will always fit there

Thanks for reading! Do you write poetry? How do you make sure you remember the little beautiful moments?

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