anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Poems of Motherhood | January


You fell asleep nursing
I could tell
by your breathing
the way your weight felt in my arms
by your latch
I held you a few minutes longer
let you rest with me


you walked
rejecting my hands for help
you wanted to do it along
so I followed
watched you test your skills
watched you grow up in 10 steps


you were tired
so tired
I could hear it in the way you cried
so I gave you a bottle
but it was the tiny tidepool of tears
gathered in your ear
that broke my heart


We went to church
you showed off your new walking skills
running into my arms
crinkled nose
big grin
I scooped you up
sealing the memory
of tiny arms
around my neck


I went through your poems
remembering when you were smaller
when you fit in the sink
it goes like sand
like water
then it's gone


We're drawing to our close now
the baby stage almost over
you'll never remember it
but I will
I'll always cherish you
no matter how big
or small


One year ago
your due date
one year ago 
you were just a dream
about to burst into reality
one year ago


We looked back
at the tiny moments
that made up your first year
your beginning
broken up into small pieces
have made a beautiful whole.

I've been writing these in my one-line a day journal and I've really enjoyed it. It helps me to remember to write the moments down every day and not over think it. 

Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed them! :)

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Monday, April 22, 2019

Earth Day

You may or may not know that I'm well on my way to becoming a hippie. I think that I may have already gone this way eventually (some of my favorite books have some heavy environmental themes, and let's be real, books are basically my best friends), but having a husband that is environmentally conscious enough to literally walk our recycling to the recycle bin (about a half mile away) when we lived in our apartment that didn't have recycling, would be enough to push just about anyone this direction. 

Whether you're a hippie or not, or whether or not you even believe in global warming, I think that we can all agree that there are some things that are better for the environment than others. I don't think caring about the environment means you have to stop living your life the way that you like to live your life, or that you have to make drastic changes. I do think that we can each tweak a few things to be a little better and small things add up. 

Here are some things you can consider to help the environment:

1. Learn what is actually recyclable.

2. Shop small/local/ethically/sustainably made.
3. Consider Cloth diapering (or even just following the recommendation on the box to empty the contents of your disposable diaper into the toilet).
4. Use Menstrual cups instead of tampons or Thinx underwear instead of pads. Here is a quiz to find out which kind of cup you might want to try.
5. Buy metal straws to use over and over.
6. Use reusable grocery sacks. Here is a link to those produce sacks it seems like everyone has.
7. Reduce, reuse, recycle.
8. Use environmentally safe cleaners such as Branch Basics or Supernatural Clean.
9. Buy from the bulk food section instead of prepackaged. 
10. Buy seasonal produce.
11. Walk more places and carpool or combine trips when you can.
12. Buy reusable food sacks instead of a single-use snack, sandwich, or freezer bags.
13. Buy organically grown food.
14. Buy items from thrift shops or goodwill whenever possible.
15. Be aware of any local or federal legislation concerning the environment. Vote. For whatever you believe. If you want to educate yourself about the issues or how we affect the environment, my husband found these links.
Debunking Global Warming Myths
How Businesses are Responsible for most of the harm
This Changes Everything Book
We have 11 years to change

Honestly, the biggest and best thing I think that we can each do for the environment is to shift our mentality. To think first of what will last longest, that we can get the most use out of, instead of just doing whatever is most convenient. I decided not too long ago that I was going to do my best to do what whatever was the best choice in a given situation, instead of what was most convenient. Would it be more convenient to just throw things away? Yes. Would it be the best choice? No. I don't think that you should beat yourself up for what you aren't doing. There's a lot that we aren't doing. There's a lot that I'm not doing. That's ok. I think that if we all pick one thing to change, it will make a difference. Once you've got that down and it's a normal part of your life, pick something else and add it to what you're already doing. I think you'll be surprised how easy it is once you've made the shift. So far, I am only currently emptying my baby's diapers into the toilet, and I bought a menstrual cup (which I never got the chance to use before I got pregnant). Everything else on the list is things I'm either working on or planning to work on. 

I am so grateful for this beautiful earth that I get to live on. I want to take good care of it, as well as I can at least, just like I want to take good care of my body. I hope you learned something today! I'd love to hear any other tips you have to help take better care of the earth! Drop them in the comments below :)

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Friday, April 19, 2019

Friday Moments | #1

Honestly, I missed Monday Moments, and I missed monthly moments. Monday seemed too intimidating (I really take Mondays slow these days), and monthly moments seemed too far apart. So I bring you Friday Moments. It doesn't have any fun alliteration and we're going to aim for every other week, but here we go :)

Everly has decided that this is how she has to carry her bottle. Also, she loves those little shoes. She has me put them on for her all the time by taking them and setting them on top of her foot. She clearly knows that's where they go but she has no concept of how to actually get them there herself. 

These two. :)

Everly had a grand time distracting us through General Conference... so glad that they publish the talks afterward! I have never gotten so little out of a conference before.

Took this after she decided to abandon my Mom and I on a walk. She decided to go out and explore on her own. It really is bittersweet to see her start to be more independent like this.

Seriously, if anyone knows where I can get cheap rain boots and rain gear for Everly, let me know! These rainy days were fun, but also killed me. I wanted to get out of the house SO bad.

This shoot was so cold. It rained. Snowed a little bit. Also, Everly threw up on the way home. Luckily it wasn't too bad and we were just a few minutes away. But I was still glad we got the photos! We're so excited for our new baby.

My little sister bought this dress for Everly because she saw it at the store and decided that she needed it. I've got to say, it's one of my new favorites. And yes, we let her play at the park in it on Sunday.

Our neighbors down the street were giving this play set away so we took it! Everly already loves teh little slide. We didn't make it out of Pajamas that day, but hey, we went on two walks and played outside for a few hours so I think it was worth it.

Shortly after this photo I made Everly actually sit in the stroller. She'd been pushing it for 15 minutes and I decided it was time to go home. She cried the entire way home. I'm still getting into my groove when it comes to tantrums, but I was so proud of myself for not giving in to what she wanted and staying calm even though she was really upset. I just spoke to her in a calm voice. Told her that I knew that she really wanted to push the stroller but that we weren't doing that right now. Hopefully I can keep my cool for future tantrums as well.

Currently Reading:

The Great Pursuit By Wendy Higgins (finished this. Good. One sex scene to skip and a few references to sex)
Ink, Iron, and Glass By Gwendolyn Clare

Currently Listening to:

What We Said Podcast
Finding the Magic Podcast
Dear Hank and John Podcast
Writing Excuses Podcast

Goals for these coming weeks:

-Miracle Morning (work up to 30 minutes of exercise)
-Be more present and focused (I've been using the phrase "I am here" to bring myself back out of my head)
-Meal Plan

Something to take away:

"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly"
-John 10:10

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your goals and your current happenings! Feel free to comment or email me at :)

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Saturday, April 13, 2019

Our Family is in Bloom

We are so excited to announce that we are having another baby! Last time I was pretty committed to waiting until we were farther along (ok, honestly I mostly wanted to have the ultrasound photo to announce), but this time I didn't want to wait!

Some basic answers to questions we've gotten from those we've already told:

1. We're due December 11
2. Yes, this baby was planned
3. Most everyone feels like it's going to be a boy, but honestly, we'd be so happy with either one! I kind of want a girl so that Everly will have a sister her age, but also it would be fun to have a boy this time around.
4. We have zero ideas on what to name this baby, so if you have any great names, especially boy names, please send them our way!

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Wednesday, April 10, 2019

The Love Journal Challenge

Ever since before we got married, Brian has been writing little books for me. He gets a notebook and every day he writes me a little letter about what I did that day to make him (or sometimes other people) feel loved. It's been a sweet little tradition and it's always fun when he finishes a book and I get to read it. Honestly, it makes me feel a little like an impostor sometimes. I certainly don't see myself as the woman that he describes on those pages. However, the last time I was reading them it occurred to me that they are a great way for me to know how to help Brian feel loved. It's really interesting to see the little things that he picks out of the day that I don't think about. Usually, it isn't anything that I've gone out of my way to make happen. It has helped me to feel like I am doing a good job, even when I'm not trying, but also to make sure that those little things that make him feel loved ARE happening. 

With that in mind, I wanted to challenge all the couples who read this to try it for a week. Both of you write down at least one thing every day that your spouse did to make you feel loved. Then at the end of the week, give the list to your spouse. Not only will this help your spouse know what helps you feel loved, but it will force you to look at what your spouse is doing to make you feel loved. Sometimes we get caught up thinking about ourselves and it's easy to lose appreciation for your spouse and all that they do for you. If you like the challenge, maybe you can do it quarterly :) (Or, more often if you're ambitious!) I'd love to hear how it goes!
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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Overcoming Trials | 4 Tips To Grow Through What You Go Through

If you read my Instagram post a few weeks ago, you know that I’ve been struggling a bit. I’m deep in a trial that I never saw coming (do we ever see them coming?). This trial has been one of the hardest I have ever faced, maybe the hardest I have ever faced. It has gotten me down, feeling like I’m destined to get knocked down again just when things start to feel ok again. Which, to a degree, is probably true. I’m never going to hit a time when things will then be perfect for the rest of my life. I’m always going to have struggles, big and small. Knowing that, has prompted me to try and take control of these feelings and use them, rather than let them use me.
I don’t claim to have all the answers, and even knowing how to best cope with a trial doesn’t take away from that fact that you still have the trial. It doesn’t take away all of the pain and it doesn’t make it automatically better. However, what it does do is help you not get so stuck in the trial that you feel like you can’t endure it. It helps you feel like there is still good in the world and to see those moments of goodness.
Here is what I’m doing to cope with this current trial:
  • Self Care. I feel like I’m personally always a big proponent of self-care (especially as a mother) and making it a priority, but when it comes to struggles, sometimes it seems like self-care is the last thing that you can worry about. For me, it’s important to take time for self-care so that I don’t sink even deeper into what I’m feeling. Right now, my self-care looks like a brain dump for 5 minutes every morning and every night. I give myself permission to write whatever comes to my mind (something that I have NEVER been able to fully do before) and then I shred the pages. I have a separate notebook for anything I want to keep from the brain dump and I transfer it there, but the rest gets shredded. It also looks like getting up earlier to take 10 minutes to read my scriptures, to do affirmations, to do 15 minutes of yoga, and to figure out how I want my day to go. Everly has also decided that she also needs to get up earlier, but I just let her play in her crib until I’m ready to get her. We’re both happier when I can be present with her and not stuck going over everything in my head constantly.

  • ExerciseThis is kind of self-care, but honestly, it’s more emotional than physical for me. It keeps me feeling healthy and it helps me feel grateful for my body, even when other things aren’t working out the way that I want them to. In addition to yoga, I take Everly on a walk every day. It gets us both out of the house and helps me breathe again. I’m not sure what it is about getting outside, but I always feel a little better and a little lighter when we get back to the house. I also plan on adding in strength training a few times a week. It’s something that I’ve wanted to get into since before I got pregnant with Everly, but something that I never actually got into.
  • Prayer or Meditation. (or both :) ) Prayer is something that I have always struggled with. At least the formal, down on your knees, “thee”s and “thou”s kind of praying. It generally seems forced and the “rules” of it have always seemed arbitrary to me. I’ve tried so many different ways of praying, lately in the form of prayer journaling. However, what has worked best for me, is just giving myself permission to pray however I want. I tell myself that all I have to do is start with “Dear Heavenly Father” and end with “In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” The rest is entirely up to me. I give myself permission to pray while laying in bed, or sitting at the table. Sometimes it’s short. Sometimes I use “You” and “Me”. I let the rules go and just say what’s in my heart. Along with prayer, I’ve found that meditation really does a lot for me. If you’re new to meditation (which I still consider myself to be), then I recommend using a free trial of an app. I’ve used Calm before, and currently using Headspace. Both of which I have loved. If you’re a mother, then the matriarc app also has meditations in it that I’ve loved. 
  • Write it out. I was listening to the Find the Magic podcast the other day and they were talking about trials. They suggested that you write down 3 questions and the answers to them. 
    • What is my struggle?
    • What are my fears?
    • What could be a possible positive outcome of this struggle? 
For me, this has really helped me to put my trials in perspective. When I get really deep into feeling badly about what is happening I ask myself the same questions about past trials. What was my struggle? What were my fears? What was a positive outcome of that struggle? It helps me see that I got through those hard things before and came out better from them. It helps me see that this struggle is something that I can get through too. 

Trials are hard. I think that they’re meant to be. I often go back to what my mother said to me when I had a breast cancer scare a few years ago. She told me that she’d had her own scare years before and that she came to terms with it by turning it over to God. She said, “If this is what it takes for me to become who I need to be, then I’ll do it.” When I’m really scared or worried, I think of that. I think of the Rachael that I really want to be, the woman that I am meant to become. If this is what it takes for me to become her, then I’ll do it. 

What tips do you use to get through hard times?

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