anchored in light

A lifestyle blog about finding light in every avenue of life

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Greyson's Birth Story



I love reading birth stories. Especially when I'm pregnant or have just given birth. There's something magical about reading how all these little babies came into the world. Everly's birth story was a little rough, luckily this one is better.

Honestly, leading up to labor I was really worried that things would go the same way that they did with Everly. I was worried that I wasn't going to get the kind of birth experience that I wanted. So when the labor and delivery birth asked me what I was looking for in this birth experience, I told her that I wanted a healthy baby. Everly was healthy, but she wasn't with us in our room. We never got that "golden hour" together. 

I went into labor Monday night. I was 5 days overdue and so sick of everyone walking on eggshells waiting for me to go into labor. It's very lucky that I didn't punch all the people who asked me how I was feeling. As if I could tell them just when the baby would come. We had gone to Brian's company Christmas (Holiday?) party at top golf and had just come home to get ready for bed. I was so tired and so ready for a good night's sleep. I honestly could have left the party an hour earlier because I was just so tired, but after we got into bed I realized that wasn't going to happen.

Contractions were so much worse than I had been expecting. Obviously, this was my second time around, but with Everly, my water broke and I didn't have any really painful contractions before I got an epidural. I walked around the room that we had been storing all of Greyson's things in, timing contractions and just waiting until they were close enough together to get to the hospital. It was really painful. I could feel them radiate down into the tops of both of my thighs. Right then and there I let go of any ambition to deliver naturally. Ever. 

Finally, it was almost midnight and my contractions were close enough together that I woke Brian up and we left for the hospital. '

I remember on the drive there that Brian sped a little bit. I remember telling him that the baby wasn't coming THAT quickly.

We got there and we checked in. I felt so annoyed when they were asking me why we came in. Looking back it makes sense, but in the moment, I just kept thinking, "This is labor and delivery. I'm in labor. I'm here to deliver."

We learned not long after we checked in that my doctor wasn't going to be able to deliver our baby. It broke my heart a little bit. I wanted a familiar face. I wanted to feel safe because this was the doctor that had been with me from the beginning. It just wasn't meant to be.

Labor went much more quickly this time around. We only spent about 4 hours from the time we checked in to when we started pushing. I was dilated to something like a 6 when we got there and the nurse was pretty sure that my water had broken already. The slow leak kind somewhere at the top (which made me feel better about all the times in the past several days that I had wondered if it had broken, but wasn't confident enough to go get checked). It ended up breaking at the bottom one of the times that she checked me.

I got my epidural not long after I checked in and I was so glad to have a good anesthesiologist. He was comforting to me (even though there was more pain/discomfort with the placement than last time) because he reminded me of my brother. He patiently explained to me everything that he was doing and what I might feel as he did it. I had a great epidural just like last time. I could feel and move my legs but there was no pain during contractions. 

We were introduced to my doctor, a young-looking man who seemed kind and like he knew what he was doing. We kept waiting for me to be fully effaced. They eventually had me turn on my side to help put pressure on my cervix in one spot that didn't want to go all the way away. They told me to tell them when I felt pressure on my tailbone. Honestly, I felt pressure several minutes before I said anything because I wanted to be sure, but then I told them and everyone was coming in and gowning up for the delivery.

The delivery itself is kind of all blurred together. I remember that they gave me oxygen at one point and I had the mask on until the end of the delivery. I have no idea why. I remember they told me that Greyson's heart rate was dropping and that they needed to use the vacuum on him (which is actually a little circle that suctions to their head and is attached to a tube and a handle that they pull on to help them out). I remember the NICU nurse coming in, just in case. It was about that time that I was sure that I was going to be a repeat NICU mom. I remember him telling me that he was going to cut me to help get the baby out and I was just praying that the epidural was strong enough (with Everly they had to give me extra medicine before they cut me because I could feel the knife when they were about to start). Luckily, I didn't feel it and soon Greyson was out and they were putting him on my chest. I think I remember crying. I remember looking down at the top of his head and people saying things about how he looked and I just kept thinking that I couldn't see him. He was on my chest, just like I wanted, but I couldn't see anything, he was too close. 

But he was here. They didn't take him away. I got to keep him on my chest for the hour after he was born and I got to feed him right away. It was a huge blessing and tender mercy. When I finally did get a good look at him, I was so happy to see the little fat rolls of his arms and the fuzzy little hair that covered him all over. His eyes were this deep blue on the edges with a bright blue in the middle. He was mine. He was safe. 


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